dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
