so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize