Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize