it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
