Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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