hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
