he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
