Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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