How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
