U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
