its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
