Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
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