This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
