they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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