is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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