sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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