i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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