I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
