She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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