I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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