We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
