doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
