Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
