that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
