I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
