Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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