I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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