Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
