So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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