but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
