Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
this beer tastes like vomit already
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
