dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
