You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize