I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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