hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize