i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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