Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize