i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
