I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Randomize
