I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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