Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize