Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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