There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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