My first STD was from a foam party
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I need to calm my uterus...
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
