I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
