What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
