If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
we should paint friendship bongs
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