But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
