1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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