you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
