he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
