Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Randomize
