3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
