If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
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