don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
