Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
