tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
